Wednesday, November 21, 2012

the long haul

I've really been struggling this past week or so. Everything I have been working on within myself has been challenged and negative emotions are continually bubbling up. It's a conscious effort not to let myself be dragged down and enveloped by them.

Among many others, there is one particular situation that has been testing me the hardest and it has the potential to become permanent, or at the very least, long term. It's incredibly difficult to stay committed when there are many aspects of it that are in such complete opposition to how I need and want things to be. And the way I my envision my family seems to be falling apart. {{Not my family~just the vision.}}

But then part of me says to carry on ... and to let go of control and judgement ... to let go of the "what-ifs" and "if-onlys"and accept what is.

I am sincerely trying to disengage from it all and recognize that everything is as it should be for this moment. I have the notion that there are amazing lessons to be learned if I would just let these experiences wash over me rather than pick them apart.

And so, I am here.


  1. I saw this quote on another blog, right after I'd read your post. Thought it might be fitting. "A pebble held close to the eye appears to be a gigantic obstacle. Cast on the ground, it is seen in perspective. Likewise, problems or trials in our lives need to be viewed in the perspective of scriptural doctrine. Otherwise they can easily overtake our vision, absorb our energy, and deprive us of the joy and beauty the Lord intends us to receive here on earth."
    -Richard G. Scott-

    Love you, sis!

  2. Whatever you are going through is probably nothing like I have gone through this year. My aunt died in January, my mother died in May, and then exactly 3 weeks later, my mother-in-law died. Extremely difficult. Especially with 3 boys who loved those women like no one else.

    I hope you work things out and realize that some things are not really all that important or as bad as they seem to be. I am not trying to make your problems seem small, just trying to point out another perspective.

    May you have a blessed day.

    1. I am sorry for your losses. That sounds like such a difficult year.
      However, I don't think it's fair of you to assume that my experiences are somehow less difficult or painful than yours. Grief, pain, challenges~these are things we all endure in life and it's not a competition of who's weight is heaviest. Your perspective is not my perspective and vice versa but they are both valid as they pertain to our own life and experience.
      I appreciate your comment & visit here.

  3. And you just answered all of my questions. Your problems are small, indeed.